Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Is Mom Ready for Kindergarten?
Kindergarten...it felt like it was so far away. I just delivered a premature baby girl...6 lbs, 5 ounces. She was premature, in good health but needed to stay in the T1 nursery for a month before she came home from the hospital. Her lungs weren't fully developed, she had reflux, and regular bratties (she would stop breathing for periods of time and required oxygen). Being a first time mother, I was a wreck. I felt overwhelmed, exhausted from spending 16 hours a day at the hospital, but couldn't see myself being anyplace else. I pumped my breastmilk till my boobs felt like they were going to fall off, and she was tube fed for the first 3 weeks. I fell asleep, and the next day, she turned 5 and had a sister. That's how fast the time has gone.
When Courtnay was 2, I went through the same ordeal with Taylor. She was premature as well, and we went through a rerun of the same episode we had with Courtnay. By that time, we knew Courtnay had some developmental issues, but she was excited with the prospect of having a baby sister. By the time Courtnay was 4, she had been seeing a speech pathologist on a regular basis, and an occupational therapist. She had been given an ADHD diagnosis. I've been fortunate enough to be at home with her full time to work with her on a daily basis, and she has been moving along splendidly. And then the day has been drawing nearer...kindergarten.
Courtnay is excited, she's thrilled about the prospect of meeting new friends, having a teacher and attending school half a day a week. I am once again a wreck! Don't get me wrong, I am excited for her as well, but have to admit I am terrified! My little baby is leaving our safe nest! I'm not going to be behind the wheel of her progress and learning. How will she fair without me being right along beside her? Or better yet, how will I fair without having her right along beside me?
When I told her "Courtnay, mommy is going to be so sad when you start kindergarten. What is mommy going to do without you?"
She replied, very grownup like "Don't worry mommy, things will be fine. You'll be o.k." Yikes! I'll be o.k? It's worst than I thought...my 5 year old can now console her mother!
Where did that slobbery baby go that I carted around in her stroller while I shopped? Where did the time go?
I just don't know. One thing I do know, is that there will be many tears on my face the first day of kindergarten. What am I going to be like at graduation? I shudder to think.
| posted by Warm Fuzzies at 10:26 AM
I am SO there with you!! My baby girl, born July 29, 2001, is going to kinder this year and it's already scaring me!! And making me sad... she was my first as well.
Hang in there! We can get through this!